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( Hard times

boluncing back

learnuing to carry suffering with dignity

"O.K. I'm going to have a hard times kvetching period. And for the next 5 minutes I'm going to go bananas."

"The reawakening of hope is never painless. It's like running water over a frozen hand."
- Barbara.Sher
what maes me advance so slowly
what maes me lazy; i want tpo rest my mind needs to wander a bit (discipline your mind with meditation)
why do i get discouraged so easyliy

(step1 meditate, put yoiur defeatism negative thoughts in to cirvcle of liht

step2 slep get a positive outlook from dreaming.

3 when you wake up the defeatism will ne leess strong .
make a list of all the things that brong aout the feelings of defeat.
find a solution to each one of these thigs.)
if the feeling is too strong, take time to do someting you enjoy and that you feel you're good at.( i my case drawing). once the drawing seeion over i feel gbetter about myself
and i can start my instospection work

example: problem; my familiy never put me in contysact with creative preople who earn a living from their art
solution: find these peioke yoyurself. on the internet, go to conventions. stay in contact with people wgho you meet that are active creatively
ill never print and gebnerate income from my art, solution i find remind ewesit onell fourhorsemen ketto. these are all people who generate income from their art(Idont fall nto jealousy. instead i meet them and ui look at how they mannaged to get to the ppoint whrer they are at.if feeliongs of jeawlousty are stong do meditation and introspection wor to idetify the root cause of the jealousy. jealousy will keep you from proprely developing)

le cri de l'homme fragile faius peiur
trioles asffectifs, maniaco depressif


assuming responsibilty means not seeing onself as a victim,
feeling sorry for oneself,
feeling vindicated when others feel sorry for yourself
feeling jealous or envy when someone suceeds

i get stuck in this very often myself i enjoy feeling sorry for myself. oinly now do i realise how much i lost through behaving this way.

iat a cetain point, I came to realise that i had to sassume more resoposibilty for the decisions i made concerning my path with a heart.

i chose to follow a path with a heart (releasing personsl mythological stories).this is a descision i took. no one forced this upon me. there is no room for playing the victim or feeling sorry for oneself.

assuming resopnsibility implies accepting the unexpected stuff that came with the descision you make.( some people thinking i'm crazy or immature, financial hurdels, solutide instead of raising a family, etc). if the path wiht a heart is fully emraced, the unexpected stuff could actually be turned into assets (in return for solitude and no family i get total freedom; people thinking im crazy makes me see who my true friends are; financial hurdels force me to manage my money properly) but these assets would only be seen if I continued to enjoy the path with a heart I had chosen for myself.

it's like mountain climbing. sometimes its hard, sometimes its easy. But the challenge of the actual climb makes you enjoy it all the time.but only if you assume resposibilty for climbing the mountain in the first place.

remember to Assume responsibilty for deciding to climb the mountain and focus on the thrill of the actual climb

no douts, no regrets, no turning back because it is your decision to do so.


loosing self imoportance vs loosing self worth

playin victim lookink for encouragement.

are you afraid of something?
(are these frears based on liefs that are true)

donner raison aux autres

rage, impuissance

comment s'aimer davantage

respect de soi:
les regles de l'autre
agir par la lpeur
naif sur les motif de l'autre

ce que je fais west contraire a mes valeurs-apporte aiss destime de soi

-defendre vses valeurs

cesser de concentir
  a word of caution:

we live in a fend for youeself society. this idea of not playing the victim can be used aainst people who need to be helped. its an easy way for us to not give a hlping heand when we see someonde suffering.

it helps to les the person vent out their frustration by letting them talk

here a re a few tips you can use to helpy uorself otr others

The yes but game:

Joe wants to get across a river.

Joe: "I don't have a boat."
Barney: "Mary has one I'll borrow hers"
Joe: "Yes but I don't know how to row"
Barney: "We'll ask Mary to row it for you."
Joe: "Yes but she's very busy."
Joe: "Yes, but I'll get seasick."
Joe: "Yes but I don't want people to see me this way"

The truth is Joe's not looking for an answer at all.

  "The real problem is very deep, painful and complex. It has to do with negative feelings that come up every time you think of going after your dreams.
That's where the arson part of reality. Really is it's not in reality. Its in your feelings. When you say I can't, its impossible. You're actually trying to do something natural but forbidden in our culture you're trying to complain.

But you've got to learn how to do it right.

What you most likely are is scared.
Half of these tips have likely made you hurt mad and scared- its gotten your hopes up. Again. And now you're feeling the pain for all the times you tried and it didn't work. For how hard its been. For the lack of support. For all the time lost. You're feeling fear that you're going to get duped or disappointed again."
-Barbara Sher


What is the problem?
Why does that problem make your goal impossible?

I will never make it because:..(be as negative as you can be)...


If you can, start having fun with your negative feelings.

you've got to let negative attitudes and feelings happen. only then will you be ready for positive problem-solving, planning, and action

But remember: Trying to force a positive attitude is the surest way in the world not to get something done. A negative attitude will get you to do it.

The operative principle is:
Get it off your chest, and get on with it

Get it off your chest and give up. (Big difference)


To keep your friends from running away from you when complaining, tell them them in advance : "O.K. I'm going to have a hard times kvetching period. And for the next 5 minutes I'm going to go bananas."

During the kvetching period, your friends can:
- Applaud.
- Participate: throw in their own rants
- Show admiration : "You know, you're amazing. How did you do all that?"

Remember to keep working at your goal after the kvetching session. If it makes you give up on your dream something is not right (If this happens, check out the despair-buster page)

Great deeds come from a steady stream of small actions. Those action are performed whether one is sad scared angry or happy.

Acknowledge your feelings but keep on moving.

Some people like to keep a hard times journal. This is especially good if you're trapped in a macho-culture where any form of complaining leads people to look down on you.

In your complaints-journal, Write down the date, what you did / what happened, how you felt. Once you've let off some steam, get back to work.



"My self-esteem is virtually non-existant today. But I'm not going to worry about it. It's irrelevant. I can work on my comic book without it. I'm a failure. I'm horrible. I'm an abomination. An eccentric fool. I'll never make anything out of myself. I acknowledge these feelings I have about myself.these feelings will have to be dealt with. but for now, I roll up my sleeves and get back to work.'
-Barbara sher wishcraft

learn to carry your suffering with difgnity. be prioud of the fact that you have the innerstrenght to carry this pain and suffering.
evrything in the universe has its place. even your pain and suffering. if you have to carry this pain or suffering it is because you have the inner strength to carry it and overcome it.

assuming responsibility
you think you are imortal
and the decisions of an immortal man can be canceled or regretted or doubted

to assume the responsibility of ones decisions means that one is ready to die for them.

when a man decides to something hew muyst go all the way but he must take responsiility for what he does, he must know first why hes doing it and then he must proceed with his actions without doubts or remorse about them.


In her book(wishcraft), Barbara Sher recommends the following to deal with success:

1- Hurray for me! Don't let anyone tell you that there's anything wrong with self-congratulation. When you've done something hard , you deserve cheers, from yourself and everyone around you.

2- Fake it till you get used to success. No matter how long you've waited for it, success always comes before you're ready for it. Make this resolution: I will not sabotage myself, no matter how much I may want to.

Two tips for faking it:
- 1 Have a hard times session. Express your hysteria.
- 2 Dress for the part even if you don't feel like it.

3- Focus on immediate success. The success you get from the step you have accomplished up to this point. Forget long-term success. You might be disappointed or too busy to savor it when it comes. But the immediate success you can savor right now.

utiliser famille comme avantage appui->merci
pas d'appui>je devient plus fort interieurement

points faible a travailler
valorisation de l<enfant genie une fos adulte

desir de plaire il faut que les gens aime ca sinon il ne l<acheteraons pas

eviter de deranger


  Examples of "negative vibes":

"Negative vibes" hidden in words:
Why don't you get yourself a real job?
We all know artists only become famous once they're dead!
Poor you...
Your no good.
You're a worthless piece of !@#$%
Why do you...
Why did you...
Why don't you...
Is that all you've managed to do so far?
You should...
You must...

Sometimes the negative vibes come from the body language of the person
, the way the person looks at you when you talk about your project.

You just get the sense that they don't believe in you

parents traite lenfant comme une vache alait pas le temps detre enfant

Negative vibes can also emanate from the self.
Thoughts such as "I'll never make it"
or interpreting what others do or say as lack of encouragement .

obstacles internes:

paresse shu bien

fuite du monde reel drogue

peur de l<echec/reusite/critique




"(...)If you continually expect an individual to behave in a particular manner, then you are sending him telepathic suggestions that he will do so. Each individual reacts to suggestion according to specific conditions existing at the time, such an individual will to some extent or another act according to the mass suggestion he receives.

These mass suggestions include not only those given by others, both verbally and telepathically, but also those he has given himself, both in the waking state and dream state . if an individual in in a state of despondency, this is because he has already become prey to negative suggestions of his own and others. Now if you see him and think that he looks miserable (...) or that he is an incurable drunk, then these suggestions are picked up by him subconsciously, though you have not spoken a word. And in his already weakened condition they will be acted upon

if on the other hand,(...) you stop yourself and say gently to yourself, 'he will begin to feel better now, or his drinking is temporary, there is indeed hope here' then you have given him aid, for the suggestion will at least represent some small telepathic ammunition to help fight off the war of despondency."

- Jane roberts (seth)


how do i keep and protect my energy?

How to send positive vibes to others

If you believe in what the person is doing.
- Express your admiration, and encouragement,
- Be useful to the person when ever possible

If you don't believe:

- Reduce physical and visual contact with the person.

Say to yourself:
- x is my friend and I want him to be happy
- I want him to fulfill his potential as a human being. I let life guide him to happiness.


To send positive vibes to oneself while awake:

Say the following to yourself and reinforce the thought with concrete daily actions.
-" I can do this"
- "the universe has given me these skills.i want to use them to develop my full potential and make the world a better place."

Bombard your mind with positive proverbs and thoughts even if you don t completely believe in them. Use these to motivate and discipline yourself to continue working on your projects

- Check out Raymond hull's 52 citations (How to get what you want)

- Keep an eye on what you eat

- Find time to do physical exercise

-practice meditation every 24 to 48 hours


Sending "positive vibes" to oneself during sleep

I will use this sleep time to work on overcoming the problem that keep me from reaching my goal.

I will wake up refreshed and in a positive mood
I will wake up with all the energy I need to get my project done

I will use my sleep to cultivate my disciple

I will use my sleep to cultivate positive feeling and thoughts about myself

I will use my sleep to work on ______


Recommended readings:

Barbara Sher